today i thought about making this site a blog of lists. all my entries would just be lists of things. today there were lots of things i wanted to make lists of, like interesting people on the street, and funny things i heard (“jesus doesn’t want people to lie!,” said very emphatically at the lyndon larouche table), and things like that. but then i thought that it would just degenerate into a bunch of lists of other things i should be working on instead of doing this.
currently, for example, i really need to be writing my résumé and cover letter. they are due tomorrow for the fabulous job that i really really want, but that everyone else in the ischool probably really wants, too.
this week i was afraid i had seriously injured my tailbone. i got some lovely cheap pink flipflops at payless. i put them on and subsequently slid down three stairs on my ass. cheap flipflops are not designed for traction, i guess. my friends told me horror stories of cracked tailbones from 6th grade that still hurt when doing too many situps. i think i just bruised my butt, though, and did not break anything, since it doesn’t hurt anymore, and it was just on sunday that i did it.
and that’s the news from my ass.
(song: “don’t get around much anymore,” the sam cooke version … shan the magic jukebox has failed me! she can’t think of a song about asses that i know and like!)
I want to work for a newspaper called, “News From My Ass.” I’m sure I’ll be eligible for a Pulitzer in no time!
To contribute to the tailbone stories: I knew a girl in high school who, after a horseriding injury, could be knocked out by a kick to the tailbone. Which, though cruel and probably neurologically detrimental, is still funny to imagine.
I think Shan failed you because most songs about asses aren’t exactly in good taste. Or the pinnacle of art. What you really needed to do was have Shelby or Jeremy dig out a copy of the booty mix. Do you remember the booty mix?
Oh, I TOTALLY still own the booty mix. It can be whipped out at a moment’s notice.
In Junior High, this one kid broke his tailbone sitting in the school bus when it went over a bump in the school parking lot. It was in the morning, and my first class was in the front, so we all watched as the ambulance came and took him. He had to be wheeled around in a wheelchair for weeks after that.
I bruised my tailbone on a bus once! It was terrible! I was in Washington, DC on a high school trip and the group leaders were hustling us onto the bus for another ride to another monument. While rushing to sit down in the seat, I planted my ass directly on the arm rest, which I hasten to emphasize, was not padded. I practically howled in pain and everyone laughed at me. I couldn’t sit down comfortably for weeks and I remain v bitter about the whole incident.
yay! everyone has an ass story!
Shelby, you still have the booty mix?! That whole night was so completely surreal. I think I’m a little traumatized that I even remember it. Perhaps you should whip out the booty mix and find an appropriate ass-related title for lauren’s entry.