but the moment passes as the sun moves on

this is the weekend of feeling relieved.
i finished this term’s last (awful) paper on friday night at about 10:30. the feeling after finishing a term is always unfamiliar to me. i can wake up in the morning and lie in bed, or i can get up and do the dishes, or i can sit on the couch and do nothing. it’s not that i don’t do those things even when there is school, but rather that while i am doing them, i always worry about the other things i should be doing. it’s hard to adjust to the feeling of being allowed to do nothing, instead of feeling guilty about it.
and possibly even better than finishing is that it’s raining. it sprinkled all evening at shelby‘s barbecue, and then seriously rained all night — i kept hearing the rain when i woke up in the night and going back to sleep happier for it. now it is still sort of drippy outside, not enough for me to wish for my umbrella, which i left in seattle, but still enough to make me smile about it.
actually, it makes me kind of weirdly nostalgic. sitting at espresso roma doing internship work — for money, now, not for credits, yay! — looking out the window at grey. at least i’m not doing the linguistics homework of the devil, on which i spent so many hours here.
my new CDs arrived last week. dear catastrophe waitress by belle & sebastian = cute and fluffy but kind of depressing at the same time. two-way monologue by sondre lerche makes me feel strange, like i am missing something important somewhere else in the world, or maybe it’s right in front of me but i can’t see it. satellite rides by the old 97s is a fabulous album that makes me want to jump around and sing and i am so excited for them to come to the showbox in november. everyone needs a few healthy obsessions.
moving is in ten days. being able to do it in stages makes a huge difference in my attitude about it.

(song: “baseball,” ozma.)