the problem is all inside your head
Saturday, 31 July, 2004
this morning i woke up nicely early. why is it so easy for me to get up at 8 on weekends, when i have nothing to do, but so hard for me to get up at 8:45 on weekdays when i have to be at work by 9? i had happy alone-lauren time in the living room, knitblogging (2 posts!) and watching man u and milan play in new jersey, bizarrely.
mm. cheerios and vanilla soy milk is yum.
(song: “fifty ways to leave your lover,” paul simon.)
Posted by Lauren at 11:01 am |
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In the catalog under nothing
you’re trapped in your head humming a tune to yourself
Tuesday, 27 July, 2004
i had an exciting run in the forest this weekend. shelby’s eric’s family has a cabin at wauna lake, near stevenson, washington. it’s a hidden lake - to get there, you turn into what looks like a driveway with a locked gate, but when you go through the gate you go up a hill for probably half a mile before arriving at a parking lot with a clubhouse and tennis courts and some covered docks. we took a little boat across the lake to the cabin, fortunately not capsizing, though it was not for the huge (and stinky) golden retriever’s lack of trying. friday night we went swimming, which was very pleasant. saturday i got up semi-early and went for a run on the pacific crest trail, which crosses the road up to the parking lot right by the locked gate where we came in. it was very pretty, though excessively hilly at one point, so i turned around and went back the other direction for a while. i didn’t see as many interesting animals as i had hoped - i suppose it could be because i was stomping around and panting loudly. i did see a garter snake who left quickly, and i was a wrecker of many happy spider homes.
i should have taken into account the fact that i had to climb a huge hill back home, though, and run a little less, because i am still slightly sore from the excessive hilliness of the whole production. my ankles hurt. i had to pause about every third step on the way back up the hill, but that turned out to be an ok thing because while paused i saw two bald eagles waaay up high. yay!
i want a lake cabin.
only a month left in eugene. i need to start freaking out about where i will live when i get back to seattle.
(song: “the el,” rhett miller. i am in love with rhett miller so much.)
Posted by Lauren at 5:39 pm |
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In the catalog under mood/happy; travel
restlessness has seized me now
Wednesday, 21 July, 2004
i really want to redesign. i was going to do some work on it before i left seattle since the ischool has some tablet pcs for checkout, and i could draw fun things. i forgot to, though, so now i have to wait until i get back to seattle. maybe. or get used to drawing with a mouse.
today was grown-up staff meeting day again. i had two meetings this morning! these people really think i’m competent or something — they have this idea that i’m going to accomplish things. it makes me kind of uncomfortable and kind of happy at the same time.
i decided to stop being stupid and go to the lake with shelby this weekend. yay!
(song: “asleep on a sunbeam,” belle & sebastian)
Posted by Lauren at 5:28 pm |
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In the catalog under work; mood/unsure
everything sticks like a broken record
Tuesday, 20 July, 2004
i am more disturbed than i expected to be by the announcement that the infamous aikido brian ex-boyfriend (pictured here drinking a white russian out of a jar at arlie & robin’s, and not to be confused with roommate bryon) is moving back to eugene. i was already pretty sure this town was too small and too full of drama and now i am convinced. i didn’t talk about it in too much detail at the time, but brian moved away (see june 21) at the beginning of the summer i went to france, giving me about three days’ notice, after we had been together for about a year and a half. then for at least six months after that, and long after i had moved on, he persisted in coming to visit and trying to convince me that we had A Future and that we should Discuss It. i was only able to finally get him to stop doing that when i found out that he had been sleeping with his ex-girlfriend in california for about 1.25 of the 1.5 years we were together. i guess that makes her not an ex, huh?
anyway, i am, apparently, still livid about having been lied to for that long. and mostly mad at myself because i should have known. i did know, but he lied to me about it so frequently that i un-knew it.
so now he is moving here, and he is bringing her and her two kids with him. hooray! i’m so excited!
it bothers me that i am still upset about this. but roommate bryon has just concurred that i am allowed to always be angry about the fact that our entire relationship was a huge lie.
and the moral of the story is: once you get out of eugene, never come back.* everything you hate about your past is here.
ok, story time is over. thanks for listening.
i am terribly behind in school. not really on schoolwork, but on feeling like i’m in school. all i have been doing is sitting around moping (yay summer depression fun time!) and … um … watching jeopardy? i don’t know what i’ve been doing. it’s definitely not getting my act together and behaving like i’m taking ten credits and working ~30 hours a week. my second class starts on thursday so it’s time for me to do those things. also to put away last weekend’s laundry, which is in the middle of the floor.
(song: “ana ng,” they might be giants)
* even if there is a nice boy to come back for. i think eugene has an aura of drama and wretchedness like southern california has smog. everyone breathes it in and it infects everything that has ever happened or will happen here.
Posted by Lauren at 9:08 pm |
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In the catalog under mood/grumpy; school
once upon a pair of wheels
Tuesday, 13 July, 2004
i have been alternating between total confidence in my ability to my fieldwork goals and sheer panic about it - i am only at H! there is no way i can finish the whole survey by the end of next week!! really, as is common for me, i think i need to stick to somewhere in between. i can finish it if i get off my ass and stop wasting time.
today i learned that these big huge awful boxes called solander cases are too wide, and the aisles between shelves too narrow, to accommodate both solander case + my body, even if it’s just my knuckles sticking out on either side of the case. i am now missing a few pieces of skin off a knuckle on my right middle finger, which seemed to be important pieces of skin as i think they were holding a lot of blood in. at least, it all came out after they were removed. ew.
roommate bryon has discovered my new favorite beer: abbey. go new belgium!
(song: “baby driver,” simon & garfunkel)
Posted by Lauren at 5:36 pm |
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In the catalog under school; work
in a still suburban town
Sunday, 11 July, 2004
i went to a real grown-up staff meeting last week. they discussed things like the TASK FORCE (it sounds so grumpy, somehow) and conferences and official meetings and deadlines and things. i mostly just sat and listened. which was fine. i got paid for it. dusty collection-looking is still pretty much all i’m doing, which is very cold since the special collections stacks are kept really cold. so it was nice to be able to sit in the nice warm reading room for an hour.
i dreamed about collections last night. a fellow ischool student sent me an email saying that she had looked at what i was supposed to be doing for my fieldwork and she told me how she thought i should arrange everything when i processed them. weird because i am not actually processing.
was going to climb spencer butte today but sho got lazy.
(song: “we looked like giants,” death cab for cutie)
Posted by Lauren at 1:02 pm |
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In the catalog under work
you can never tell
Thursday, 1 July, 2004
i am in the catalog.
i am in the catalog!!!
i am in the catalog.
(i am, geekily, really very excited about this.)
(song: act naturally, the beatles)